First of all, thank you for the outpouring of love and support in the wake of our announcing #TheBiscuit/#UnitJr who is SOON to arrive . We are excited and not taking lightly the blessing and monumental task that God has given us – we are to raise this child using His teachings and I can think of no higher calling in my life, thus far.
Additionally, we are also thinking “oh crap!” because this kid will be de-utero in 10 weeks and the nursery is still functioning as my walk-in closet, the crib is in the box and I haven’t filled out insurance paperwork yet. I’ve got plenty of time left to do all that, I think…
However, today, I’m here to talk about social media and pregnancy announcements. I can’t count the number of people who said “Wait! Did I miss something? I’m so far behind!” or some other variation of sorts when they saw our pregnancy announcement. No, you didn’t miss anything. I really did wait until I was 29 weeks pregnant to announce it on social media and honestly, if I had my way, I wouldn’t have announced anything until the kid arrived.
Why?
Because I was anticipating a lot of “Well, it’s about time” or similar judge-y comments from folks who have been wanting us to have kids or wondering why we hadn’t birthed a screaming bundle in almost six years of marriage. And those kind of comments are a) not warranted by anyone b) make me ragey and c) lend themselves to me keeping more private parts of my life (like the #stateoftheuterus) offline. I’m not sure what makes people think that I, or any other woman, welcome input on the #stateoftheuterus but apparently unsolicited advice is the soup du jour. We waited to have kids on purpose and then we planned and waited, planned and waited, planned and waited. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t just lay down and get pregnant – there are a lot of microscopic, miraculous and biological things that have to go exactly right. So if a woman isn’t pregnant yet based on your assumption of the “right” timing, just chill out and let her be. Her life is playing out exactly the way it’s supposed to, according to Him.
Bottom line: social media is making me more private because some people will say anything when they are safe at home behind a computer screen. My lack of filter and dislike of stress have combined to make me be more private these days.
It’s National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month so, for the sake of all of the women out there dealing with fertility issues, miscarriages, happy or sad pregnancies, and babies called to heaven too soon – please for the love of all that is holy – keep your thoughts to yourself. If someone says, “we’re pregnant!” don’t say:
- “It’s about time”
- “Why are you having another?”
- “Are you sure you’re ready?”
As it turns out, a woman’s reproductive organs are just that: hers. We actually don’t need your input to determine when we’re ready to procreate or if we should have kids at all, or even how we should raise them. When faced with a pregnant woman, all you really need to say is “Congratulations” followed up by “Do you want some ice cream?” or “You look great!” I promise you, those responses are always welcome. I can also promise you that we don’t need or want your input on 1) what we’re eating, 2) what we’re wearing, 3) how far along we look or any other judgmental advice you think is harmless (but can be quite the opposite). Just think [heavy emphasis on “think”] before you speak, mmkay?
Now that the serious business is out of the way, I wanted to mass answer a bunch of questions we’ve received because I’m too lazy to answer everyone personally at this point [for the record, I don’t mind questions at all. Happy to answer them and I appreciate the interest, love and support!]:
- Do we know what we’re having? Yes. A baby. But in terms of gender, no we aren’t finding out in advance because I love surprises and dislike pink. If it’s a girl, I don’t want to be inundated with pink. And in the big picture, all I care about is the kid being healthy. It can come out cheering for the Broncos, hate me from day one and steal all my sleep as long as it’s healthy – boy or girl doesn’t matter to us at this point.
- When am I due? December 14 – so I am 30 weeks pregnant (7.5/10 months) right now (a full term pregnancy is actually 40 weeks).
- How am I feeling? I don’t really have any other pregnancies to reference but I think that mine has been pretty easy thus far. I’ve only gotten sick a handful of times and most of those were my fault (prenatals should be taken with food and not eating frequently enough apparently makes me sick as well). I’m always tired but I was that way beforehand so not much has changed in that respect. The thing that has been the biggest pain is the alteration in my lifestyle – I’m very independent and don’t ask for help with chores, tagging/vaccinating calves, unloading hay, changing tires, etc. So having people constantly stepping in to help me move a table, offering to do chores, lifting feed sacks for me, etc has taken me offguard. I’m very appreciative of the support and kindness but on the flip side, I’m just pregnant, which is not a handicap for me.
- Am I still running and riding? Sort of. My doctor encouraged me to stop rodeoing very early on, so I did that (I trust my doctor more than Google) but I have been saddling up to check cows and go for a nice relaxing ride when I need it. I mean, a girl needs her horse time. In regards to running, I have transitioned to run/walking, [jog for a bit, then walk a bit], and I try to get in a scheduled 30-60 minute walk every single day. I haven’t ran more than 3 miles in a row in about 2.5-3 months so a half-marathon a month after the kid is born is not in the books. But I am already registered for one in mid-May 2017!
Do not do this, please – I am not a petting zoo. - Do you have names picked out? What are they? Yes we have names picked out. You’ll find out the name when the kid is born. No, we aren’t naming our kid after you.
- Can I touch your belly? Good Lord, no.
In closing, we are excited to be welcoming a little cowboy or cowgirl and appreciate your support, encouragement, kindness and tact as we near the finish line.
In related news, I’ve got a whole heap of fun content planned before this kid arrives so make sure to check back often OR sign up for posts in your inbox (in the right sidepane)!
Until next time
~ Buzzard ~
Comments
16 responses to “Why I Was Hesitant to Announce My Pregnancy Online”
YES! YES! YES! 3 rules isn’t that difficult, right? #1 – Don’t touch me #2 – None ya business #3 – Refer to #2 or #3 🙂 Can’t wait to read more pre-baby content. Blogging becomes 907% harder post kids…. 🙁
Thanks for your support! I am hoping to be able to stick to 2-3 posts/month once the kid arrives. We will see, though. And YES! – very simple rules but I don’t really mind the harmless questions, just save their judgement for someone else. Or keep it to themselves. Either way works for me!
SO. MUCH. YES.
If one more person tells me I’m not getting any younger (I’m 27!) I’m going to go nuclear.
Thank you for writing this, and best wishes for you and your current inhabitant!
P.S. #stateoftheuterus may be my favorite hashtag of all time.
Sorry that you are experiencing unwanted pressure, Laney. It’s never warranted! Good luck holding your own and thanks for the kind words. I’m pretty fond of the hashtag myself 🙂
1. Congrats!
2. I’m not a pink fan either, so when we found out we were having a girl I explicitly told my family and friends NO PINK. Of course we did get some pink things, but I deem that an appropiate amount vs all things pink.
3. Excuse me while I step up on my soap box. Don’t be afraid to try cloth diapers. They’re less expensive, a little more work, but totally worth it in our experience; plus she was potty trained by 18 months. If you have any questions, I would be happy to help out. That all being said, it is your decision!
Thank you! I mean, I will maybe put some pink on it if it’s a girl but not every dang thing it wears. Appreciate the insight but we are definitely not doing cloth diapers!
LOL. I feel like I wrote most this.
PS. So smart on not worrying about gender on baby 1. I too didn’t want a lot of pink (failed at that anyway), but my reasoning was a lot less PC. After watching many friends, my observational data suggested those who shared the sex, mainly got clothes as gifts and those who waited to find out gender got all the big items- car seat, etc. As a cheapskate that appealed to me.
My one item I recommend all future horse riding moms need- a back pack. After a month & a little neck strength, it works well to throw kid in, get on horse, grocery shopping, cooking supper, Spartan race training…
Your reasoning on the registry and clothes vs. large items is on point – that was also a factor in why we waited. Along with wanting to be surprised and not wanting pink. I mean, there are so few REAL surprises in life and I feel like this is one of them. I have registered for a baby carrier that goes from infant up to 25 pounds or something so I definitely plan on baby-wearing so I can get stuff done! But I’m not opposed to a playpen so I can practice roping or breakway or just get out of a walk too!
I love this and feel like I could have written it last year! We also did not find out (I didn’t need the pink in my life, thank god we waited since we did have a girl!), waited years into our marriage before we had a kid, and I many times did not appreciate being treated like my pregnancy was a disability. My husband’s family teased us relentlessly about when we were going to have kids, and it would make me so angry, because you can NEVER know what someone is going through. We personally weren’t trying and having problems yet (I’m that 1% that can lay down and get pregnant… took a month to pick my jaw up from the floor when I found out), but what if we were!? Best of luck with your little one, and congrats!!
Thanks for the congrats and kind words! We were not one of those couples who just laid down, lol, but I’m glad that things were smooth for you 🙂 I agree – I am pregnant, not disabled (I actually say that out loud to people a lot). I try not to make it a huge handicap but I’m outnumbered on that one.I won’t mind at all if it’s a girl but don’t need to be overwhelmed with pink! Thanks for reading 🙂
You rock. That is all. And somehow, I seriously doubt that this new chapter will slow you down or alter any of your ambition in the slightest. In fact, I am certain that the new addition will be as spunky, independent and driven as the parents. And that will be cool to watch – just sayin’.
Beth – thanks for saying such kind words! I sure hope we can continue with our ambitious plans while toting a kid along!
Oh my Internet stranger friend, more honest words were never spoken! We are waiting until he pops out to announce it. If they don’t see me enough to know before that, not my problem. This is #4 and we have already had the negative feedback back on “so many” kids. I’m healthy, the baby is healthy, and he is coming into a family that is thrilled and excited to love and support this child for the entire time he gets to be here. So thank you. Thank you so much for putting my emotions to words.
You look unbelievable by the way. Keep up the great baby baking work!
Patty – congrats on your new bundle of joy! What’s better than three babies? Four babies (or however many you’d like to have!) 🙂 People can go climb a tree with their negative feedback – or jump off a cliff. You do you and have a blast! Best of luck with your pregnancy and your family. Thanks for reading and thanks for your kind words 🙂
Ha ha yes! This is great. I appreciate this post! As someone who’s been married for 6 years and still not produced the amazing grandchildren, I’ve gotten a lot of questions regarding, when are you having kids? why haven’t you had any yet? etc. It is NONE of anyone else’s business!!!! Visiting home or spending holidays with friends who have decided to have kids already used to be more fun before being asked these questions continuously and now, I’d rather just vacation somewhere else far away and not deal with it. Thank you for this post!!!! I feel not alone now in this!!!
You are not alone and the next time someone asks you that tell them “When we are good and ready” OR “Our bedroom is none of your business!” That’ll shut em up real quick!