Why My Husband is NOT My Best Friend

This is why we can’t be friends.

Disclaimer: Before you read on, please keep in mind that my husband, marriage, friends, family, circumstances and life are all different than yours.  Also, I’ve been married 3.5 years – those of you who have been married 5, 10 ,15 years or more will probably have a different opinion. So, your spouse/significant other might really be your best friend. I’m just sharing my opinion because, honestly, it’s my blog. Thanks for reading and laughing along!

You’ve seen it in your Facebook newsfeed – a young lady’s wedding day is rapidly approaching and she’s excited to be showered with attention [that was a downside for me, actually], marrying the one her soul has chosen and generally just having a huge party. So, she continues to declare “I can’t wait to marry my best friend!” to all her followers.

No offense to anyone who calls their significant other their best friend but I don’t now, nor have I ever, referred to the Ninja as my best friend (If you have proof otherwise, please produce it because it has slipped my mind). I just don’t think it’s realistic. My opinion may change once I’ve been married for more than 20 years, but right now I just don’t use “best friend forever” to describe the Ninja.

Why have I never called him my best friend? Well, that’s easy – he isn’t.

Yes – he’s insanely smart, [bitter]sweet, supportive and caring. Yes – he listens to me gripe about [insert occasional life-frustration], keeps me grounded, walks with me in Christ and buys dinner most of the time. But that doesn’t make him my best friend. Allow me to explain…

My best friends knows stuff about me that the Ninja NEVER will [ladies, zip those lips]. There are just some things I am not ever going to feel comfortable talking to my husband about and there are other things that I just don’t think are any of his business. Call me crazy if you must but romance and marriage strife, body image/issues and past relationships/ex-boyfriends are just not great date night conversation topics in my humble opinion.

Communication is just one aspect of a relationship. Another important component is behavior and sometimes my husband’s behavior makes me want to, quite honestly, hit him in the groin with a baseball bat. Sometimes, I don’t really like him even though I love him more than words can say. Truth. Examples of said behavior:

  • After ultrasounding sows all day at the hog farm he comes home, shoves his hand in my face and asks if his hand “smells piggy.” Yes, it’s been up a pig’s butt for eight hours.
  • On more than one occasion, he has vaporized on me
  • He mispronounces Buzzard on purpose
  • He drank my last Dr. Pepper – multiple times

My best friends would never do this – especially that Dr. Pepper one. In the words of Bon Qui Qui “I will cut you.”

Lastly, I have built stronger-than-steel bonds with several of these women and ALL of them have been in my life before my husband. He’s basically playing catch up. Some of the experiences we’ve had have formed a lifelong bonds and unfortunately very few of them can be listed on this blog but some safe ones are:

  • Innumerable rodeo road trips
  • Jesus holding some cheese
  • A spring break trip to Europe with lifelong lady friends
  • 21st and 23rd birthday parties in Manhattan, Alva and Durant
  • Claremore/Hinton rodeo weekend in 200?
  • San Antonio 2010
  • NWSS 2010
  • Cinco de Drinko Mayo
  • And even a bunch of memories from middle and high school

It is for all these reasons that the Ninja can never be my best friend. Don’t mistake that for not being a friend, period. Of course he’s my friend and he will be by my side until the day I die but it takes more than a ring to make someone a best friend.

OK – I’m prepared for your thoughts and criticisms. Those of you who have been married for longer than the Ninja and I have been, did you feel the same way I did at this point? Am I the only woman who is not best friends with her husband? Again, mad props to you if he is your bff in addition to being your soul mate but such is not the story at the Frobuzz Ranchero.

I leave you with a quote that describes the Ninja and I pretty well.

“You’re an ass. You can never make up your mind. You always mock me. I never seem to like you. But all at the same time, I am completely & madly in love with you.”

Until next time,
~ Buzzard ~


4 responses to “Why My Husband is NOT My Best Friend”

  1. I feel the EXACT same way! I always find myself giving the 'side eye' to those fb status's, blog posts and what not that have the 'marry my best friend' sentiment. My gal pals, from as far back as HS, college and now, are my best friends, not my husband. I'd also venture a guess that he'd say the very same thing! And I truly LOL'd when you said you wanted to hit Ninja in the groin with a baseball bat! We have a sign in our bedroom that says "I may not like you every minute, but I love you every day."

  2. I believe you mean rattle paddle, not baseball bat. Hahahaha.

    Love the post!

    1. Some days I'd like to use the bat and then follow up with the paddle!

  3. We've been married for 3 years, together for 7. Today I can honestly say my husband is my best friend. Has he always been my best friend? No.
    I have a girl friend who I have known since we were toddlers. Every hog show, judging contest, college party and major life event she was there. She's my "person" (a la Meredith and Christina). But I have a 2 year old and she has a 4 month old. We don't have time for long phone calls or to drive 2.5 hours with babies in tow to meet up for lunch. She married into a farm, I married into a restaurant and we're both pouring our hearts and souls into them.
    So right now the dry my tears, bring the bourbon to my pity party, help me find an outfit that hides the mummy tummy jobs all fall to my husband. And God bless him he's surviving it somehow.
    But for what its worth, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that your husband isn't your best friend. In fact, it takes a lot of guts to admit it.
    P.S. – Even when they reach best friend status they still drink your last coke. Its still infuriating like non other!